The Correct Way to Meditate

When meditating, one must always assume a seated full (or half) lotus posture, with the spine perfectly upright and stacked. Next, the mind must be perfectly cleared in a very specific way, and the practitioner should focus entirely on their breath, which must be carefully timed and performed in accordance with the prescribed method. If you accidentally fall asleep or drift off, you have done it incorrectly. If your posture is flawed, or you attempted to meditate in some other position, you are wrong. If your breath was not as smooth and strong as the silk of the golden orb spider, or your thoughts wandered, you should probably give up on meditating in general.

A Golden Orb-Weaver

This spider is well known for its extremely strong silk possessing a golden sheen.

Ok, so that is maybe a little bit of an exaggeration, but I'll bet it isn't that far off from what you might have come across while trying to learn about meditation and how to begin practicing. Most instructions seem to come across as vague and unclear while simultaneously somehow being weirdly specific about what you are allowed and not allowed to do when practicing. And often more than a little gatekeepy about it. At least that is how it seemed to me when I first tried to learn a long time ago. The result was that I found it uncomfortable, boring, and kind of a waste of time and effort. Even sitting for just 10 minutes, frequently one of my legs would begin to fall asleep or some other spot(s) would become uncomfortable to the point that it was impossible to focus on anything else. I began to wonder if this just wasn't something I'd ever be good at or really like. I tried to stick to a routine of following the standard advice and the only thing I discovered was a way to feel like I was doing work I didn't like for results I wasn't getting. I had a hard time believing that anyone was really getting value from meditation, and thought it was maybe something a lot of people did just to check a box on the list of things that one does in order to have a personal spiritual/mental practice. And I still suspect many do practice in a very conventional, "this is how one meditates properly" way, like they are grinding for experience points in an RPG, while experiencing little real progress or discovery.

Why is it this way?

Many skills can be observed. When a musician starts playing, it soon becomes apparent whether or not they've got chops earned through many hours of practice, or if they are still a beginner. When we see the artwork of an experienced painter, it's easy to know if they are at least pretty good at what they are doing. No one can fake cleanly performing difficult yoga poses, or running a marathon. With meditation it is not so, the crowns of devoted, consistent practice can be fully appreciated only by the practitioner who wears them, remaining hidden from the open acknowledgement of others. This also makes it very difficult to truly understand what you should be experiencing through your practice. And whether the source you learn from has that experience or not. Why trust me? You shouldn't. My suggestion is read the article, then try for yourself, and find out if there is value here for you. But if it helps, my thoughts come from over 15 years of practice and experimentation. They are not just a tired rehash of what others have said.

So how does it happen that standard conventions become so firmly established and rarely deviated from? There's an old allegory that suits the situation, as it does many others in modern society.

To be clear, I don't think that the standard advice is arbitrary and devoid of meaning. But it is worthwhile to consider how often people understand the spirit and principles behind such guidance, and how often it is followed and passed on blindly and habitually. I believe its original purpose was to provide a simple introduction to what might be useful and how we can start to seek, not to create a set of invisible walls confining meditation.

Some Alternate Methods

The Conventional Standard

For comparison's sake, let's see a quick overview of the conventional meditation method commonly taught.

While many sources repeat the same methods and advice, there are other forms of meditation that have existed for centuries, but are less frequently discussed. Let's take a look at two such examples.

A Moving Example

Some methods of meditation are even done while in motion, and are therefore referred to as moving meditation. A little known example of this is a meditative ritual practiced by Daoist monks of the Quánzhēn (roughly pronounced "chwen-jun" and meaning "complete perfection") school in China by the end of the 18th century. The practice, called zhuǎn tiānzūn (roughly "jwan tyen-dzoon"), involved walking along a circular path while focusing the mind by repeating an invocation. The practice was performed as part of both the morning and evening liturgies.

Zhuǎn Tiānzūn

The circling rite is introduced with the following verse:

人心皆散亂，一念便純真。

(Rénxīn jiē sànluàn, yī niàn biàn chúnzhēn.)

欲求無上道，大眾轉天尊。

(Yù qiú wúshàng dào, dàzhòng zhuǎn tiānzūn.)

This can be approximately translated as:

The human mind is scattered. Through one thought it becomes pure and true.

To seek the highest Dao, the assembly performs zhuan tianzun.

The monks would then walk slowly around a circular route, with an emphasis placed upon smooth and balanced motion while maintaining a focused mind. This promoted a state of stillness in motion.

While walking the circle in the morning the monks would repeat:

九天應元雷聲普化天尊

(Jiǔtiān Yìngyuán Léishēng Pǔhuà Tiānzūn)

This is the formal title of the Daoist thunder deity, associated with cosmic order, transformation, and the dispelling of harmful influences.

And during the evening ritual the invocation was:

太乙救苦天尊

(Tàiyǐ Jiùkǔ Tiānzūn)

This is the title of the deity associated with deliverance from suffering and the salvation of wandering souls.

Upon completing three circuits, they would cross through the center along an 'S' shaped path, and in so doing, reverse direction. The diagram below shows the walking path of the direction change, resembling a taijitu (yin yang symbol).

Thus, the recitation served as a devotional act and as a means of focusing the mind through its repetition in combination with walking along the circle. It is believed that Dǒng Hǎichuān adapted this practice to create circle walking, the foundational practice of Bāguàzhǎng, one of China’s three major internal martial arts alongside Tàijíquán (better known in the West as Tai Chi) and Xíngyìquán. And while Baguazhang's more martial circle walking differs significantly, as a practitioner I can say it definitely has a meditative, self-hypnotic nature.

A Lying Down Example

On the other end of the spectrum we have Yoga Nidrā (roughly "yo-guh nid-ruh"), approximately meaning "yogic sleep". This meditative practice is performed while lying flat on the back. Instead of maintaining an upright posture, the practitioner allows the body to become deeply relaxed while trying to maintain awareness. While lying down meditation has much older precedents within yogic tradition, the form commonly practiced today was systematized and made popular during the twentieth century, particularly through the teachings of Swami Satyananda Saraswati. Below we see the main ideas involved.

An important takeaway from Yoga Nidra is that lying down and moving into a sleep like state are not concessions made solely to increase comfort, but are in fact intentional and desired parts of its method.

From these two examples we can see that not all legitimate practices follow the common rules, and that there are multiple ways to experience what meditation can offer.

Another Approach to Meditating in Lying Down Position

Long before I had heard about walking the circle or yoga nidra, I began exploring lying down meditation in response to my lack of success with conventional methods. I started experimenting with lying totally still and deeply relaxing. The shape that this practice developed into over time is not that far off from Yoga Nidra, but has some distinct differences. And since I will be giving a more detailed explanation of this practice, I don't want us to be confined by what is and is not technically Yoga Nidra. And even if you would prefer to pursue standard upright methods, this is a good starting place to get early wins with a low barrier to entry, and to not spend too much time overthinking correct posture or how to sit comfortably for longer periods. After practicing meditation for over 15 years, it's still my favorite way.

My Method

This is best done in a very comfortable spot. A bed is perfect. You can even practice before bed, or if you feel tired and want a few minutes to recharge during the day. I recommend setting a timer early on. It will help you practice for a reasonable amount of time and it's also helpful in case you fall asleep and need to be up afterward. Anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes is a good starting place. I usually practice between 30 and 50 minutes, but the desired time is up to you. Just keep in mind that it can take some time for really interesting things to start happening, especially before you understand what you are trying to do. Throughout the entire session, just breathe naturally in whatever way feels comfortable. I usually breathe through the nose into the abdomen, breathing through your mouth can dry it out quickly, but in through the nose and out through the mouth can work. I never had a name for this type of meditation, but Melanie always jokingly refers to it as 'ancestor contacting' so ... whatever ...

So What is the Correct Way to Meditate?

I've been hard on conventional wisdom and teaching in this discussion, but there is a reason it is so conventional and its tenets so frequently repeated. The point is to try and understand the spirit of the rules, and the underlying concepts that are valuable, not to hold them up as unbreakable law carved into metal. We should try to find the value in the standard practices, what about them works and why. Understanding the foundations and principles that inspired the rules is what will make it possible to not need them. And by trying methods that appear very different on the surface, we can begin to find the common threads that really form the heart of meditation.

The correct way to meditate is the way that provides something meaningful to you. That lets you explore and discover whatever draws you. Some days nothing interesting will happen. Others will surprise you in ways neither of us can guess. With meditation the journey is the destination. The process is what will matter, that you attain one more small joy that exists within, entirely untouchable from the outside. No one will be able to see if you're really doing it, and you're never going to be able to show off with it. So do your best to see that you are getting something worth showing up for.